How to Stop Overthinking and Start Making Confident Choices

How to Stop Overthinking and Start Making Confident Choices

You’ve been there before.

You’re standing in the kitchen, staring at the fridge, trying to decide what’s for dinner. At the same time, you’re mentally drafting an email, replaying a conversation you had with your teen, and worrying whether you booked your parent’s specialist appointment.

By the time you finally decide on pasta, you’re exhausted.

Not from cooking - but from thinking.

And when bigger choices come along? You circle them endlessly.

Pros and cons lists.

Middle-of-the-night mental replays.

Asking three different friends what they would do.

It feels like you’re broken.

But you’re not.

Why Overthinking Isn’t a Personality Flaw

Overthinking doesn’t mean you’re weak, flaky, or incapable. It means your brain is overloaded.

Here’s the science: when you’re in constant “high alert,” your amygdala (your brain’s alarm system) takes charge. It wants to scan for danger, run every scenario, and keep you safe. But while your amygdala is firing, your prefrontal cortex - the part of your brain responsible for logic and confident decisions - goes offline.

In other words: your brain isn’t failing you. It’s protecting you. The problem is, it’s overprotecting you.

Why It Hits Women in Midlife Especially Hard

In your 40s and 50s, your decisions carry more weight than ever before:

• Kids navigating independence

• Aging parents with increasing needs

• Career transitions or business shifts

• Relationship changes

• Your own health in flux

Every choice feels higher stakes, because you’re holding responsibility for so many people at once. No wonder you get stuck circling—your brain is trying to solve problems that don’t have perfect answers.

How to Break the Loop

You don’t need to “just stop thinking about it.” That advice only fuels more shame. Instead, you need to interrupt the loop and give your prefrontal cortex a chance to come back online.

Here are a few ways to do it:

1. Name It
   Say out loud: This is overthinking, not clarity. Naming the pattern separates you from it.

2. Shrink the Frame
   Instead of asking, What’s the perfect choice? try, What’s the next right step for right now? Decisions become easier when you stop demanding certainty about the future.

3. Decision Containers
   Set boundaries around when and how you’ll decide. For example: “I’ll make this choice on Friday afternoon, but not before.” Your brain relaxes knowing there’s a clear plan.

4. Body First
   Take a walk, stretch, or breathe deeply. Physical movement signals safety to your nervous system, which calms the alarm bells and allows clear thinking to return.

5. Journal the Loop
   Write down everything circling in your head—every “what if,” every angle. Seeing it on paper reduces mental clutter and often reveals the answer you already knew.

What Happens When You Interrupt Overthinking

When you create these breaks, something shifts:

• Decisions feel lighter.

• Self-trust grows.

• You stop outsourcing your choices to everyone else.

• You start moving forward, instead of staying stuck in the loop.

And perhaps most importantly, you realize you were never “indecisive.”

You were simply overstimulated.

You Can Trust Yourself Again

Your brain isn’t broken. It’s just been doing too much for too long. With the right tools, you can calm the mental spin and hear your own clarity again.

That’s exactly what I teach inside Decode the Mental Load, my 3-part video series. You’ll learn why your brain gets stuck in overthinking—and the practical, neuroscience-backed resets to reclaim your confidence this week.

Start the reset today.

Mattie