The Mental Load: Why You're Always Tired (Even When You're Resting)
The Mental Load: Why You're Always Tired (Even When You're Resting)
If you’re over 45, you’ve likely felt the weight of the mental load—that invisible, ever-present burden of remembering everything: the appointments, the emails, the grocery lists, the kids’ schedules, the endless "I should really…" thoughts. It's a weight you’ve been carrying for so long that you don't even notice it anymore. But what happens when your brain is holding onto too much at once? What happens when you feel exhausted, even when you’re "doing nothing"?
What is the Mental Load?
The mental load isn’t just about being busy—it’s about never being able to turn off. It’s the feeling of juggling a million things in your head, while your brain works overtime, trying to manage it all. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the constant stream of tasks, thoughts, and responsibilities running through your mind, you’ve experienced the mental load.
This ongoing mental workload doesn’t just drain you mentally—it also impacts you physically. When we’re constantly stressed, anxious, or emotionally overwhelmed, our brain starts to malfunction. The frontal lobe, which is responsible for executive function—decision-making, problem-solving, and focusing on tasks—literally shuts down. This makes it difficult to function at our best, and often, it feels like we’re just going through the motions.
How the Mental Load Affects Us
When our brains are overloaded, we go into survival mode. This isn’t just about traumatic stress; it’s about constant stress. Our brains interpret the weight of the mental load as a threat, triggering the fight-or-flight response. The more we carry, the more difficult it is to focus, make decisions, and move forward.
And here’s the thing: the more we carry, the harder it is to focus. The harder it is to focus, the more overwhelmed we feel. Before we know it, we’ve reached a point where it feels like we’re always tired—even when we haven’t done much at all. The mental load consumes us to the point where we can't even rest properly.
How to Start Managing the Mental Load
The first step is to acknowledge that you are carrying this invisible weight. Once you do, you can start shedding it, one small piece at a time. This isn’t about adding more to your plate or finding ways to manage your stress better—it’s about removing what doesn’t need to be there in the first place.
One simple exercise to begin with is brain dumping. Take a few minutes to write down everything on your mind—whether personal or business-related. This helps get it out of your head and onto paper, making it easier to process. Then, go a step further: break your list down into things that are yours to manage and things that belong to others.
For example, if you’re a parent with a teenage child, it’s easy to take on all their responsibilities. But sometimes, it’s important to step back and ask, "Does this need to be my responsibility, or can they take care of it?" Doing so can help lighten your load.
Small Shifts Lead to Big Changes
Managing the mental load isn't about doing more or being more organized. It’s about removing the unnecessary weight. By taking small, consistent actions—like brain dumping, reevaluating your responsibilities, and identifying what you can let go of—you can start to reclaim your time, your energy, and your mental clarity.
If you’ve ever wondered why you’re so tired—even when you're "doing nothing"—the answer might lie in the mental load. It’s time to stop surviving and start flourishing. Let’s lighten the load together, one small shift at a time.
You’re doing your best, but you shouldn’t have to do it all.
Let’s chat about how to lighten the mental and emotional burden.
