4 Reasons Everyone Else’s To Do Lists are a Priority

I have a great system for to do lists. I mark off what is done, and put an arrow next to what wasn’t completed and has to be moved to the next week. I clearly remember the day that I realized everyone else’s tasks are marked completed, but my own needs are getting moved to the next week (again and again). 

 In the delicate balancing act of life, many women find themselves prioritizing work responsibilities, family obligations, and their kids’ activities over their own personal needs. As a result, their personal to-do lists often get bumped to the following week—and sometimes the week after that. This pattern, while common, can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. How many times did you move that doctor’s appointment because it just “wouldn’t work (in someone else’s schedule)”. How often do you schedule something fun you want to do, only to cancel because of someone else’s priorities? What are we doing?

The Perennial Juggle

Women are often seen as the glue holding families and communities together. Between managing career deadlines, attending parent-teacher conferences, and planning meals, there’s little room left for self-care or personal ambitions. Society frequently reinforces the notion that women should be the caregivers and multitaskers, leading them to put others’ needs ahead of their own.

Why Does This Happen?

1. Cultural Expectations
   Societal norms often place the burden of caregiving on women. This creates an implicit expectation that their personal goals are secondary to family and work duties.

2. Shame and Guilt
   Women may feel guilty taking time for themselves, fearing they’re neglecting their family or work. This guilt is really connected to shame and often stems from deep-seated beliefs that they should always be available for others (people pleasing, anyone?).

3. Overwhelming Mental Load
   The mental load of remembering everything from grocery lists to doctor’s appointments disproportionately falls on women. It’s no surprise that their personal goals, like reading a book or taking a yoga class, feel less urgent in comparison.

4. Lack of Boundaries
   Saying “no” to additional responsibilities is difficult, especially when women want to be seen as capable and dependable. This lack of boundaries leaves little room for self-prioritization.

The Cost of Deprioritizing Yourself

Constantly pushing personal tasks to the back burner can lead to burnout, resentment, and even health issues. It’s important to recognize that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Women who take time for themselves often find they’re better equipped to handle life’s demands and support their loved ones.

Breaking the Cycle

1. Start Small
   Dedicate just 15 minutes a day to something for yourself. Whether it’s journaling, meditating, or enjoying a cup of tea, these moments can add up.

2. Reframe Shame
   Remember that prioritizing yourself isn’t neglecting others—it’s ensuring you have the energy and well-being to show up fully for them. 

3. Delegate
   Share responsibilities with your partner, kids, or colleagues. Delegation is not a sign of weakness but of teamwork. Change is hard, but creating space for everyone else also leads to deeper relationships. The habit of “I’ll do it!” reinforces the narrative that you can do it all.

4. Set Boundaries
   Learn to say “no” or “not now”, and start letting the guilt and shame roll off. Communicate your needs to those around you and stand firm in your decisions.

The tendency to keep moving personal to-do lists to the next week is a reflection of the many hats women wear. By acknowledging these patterns and making conscious efforts to prioritize themselves, women can start to reclaim their time and energy. Remember, self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.